Dealing with Household Problems
April 27, 2013 Comments Off on Dealing with Household Problems
Question: During the last several months, various household problems are troubling me, and at times I feel I will break into many pieces. At such moments, I pray to Supreme Lord; He graces me with strength and courage. Your words of advice echo in my ears; but I feel that I am not able to practise any of them.
Poojya Swamiji’s Response: Problems of the household: What you describe as problems are not verily so. They are like knots in the threads woven into a cloth. Household life is like the flow of a river. The course of the river is neither straight nor in the same level. It is made so by the nature of the ground through which the river flows. The river is formed and it flows on only because the earth surface itself is uneven. The hills and ridges tend to arrest the flow, but in effect, they can only hinder and intercept. The flow gains momentum to surmount the obstacles.
Dear S, your life is such a flow on the earth. Unlike the river on the physical terrain, it is centred on your own personality in which contributions as well as hindrances come from your own senses, mind and intelligence. Ageing is a factor, ill health another. When you cannot plug your ears against a possible gossip or eruption of others, the irritating input results. Once it succeeds in registering itself in the brain, the tussle becomes yours – in the form of reactions, counter-reactions and what not! Likewise, the eyes cannot always be shut from disturbing sights. Once these inputs are there, the mind begins its habitual work of remembering and thinking criss-cross. These are the rocks, mounts and pits on the terrain through which the life has to flow.
Once the terrain is well understood, the wisdom must gradually build the counter-elements, which will even out the disturbances. This is a kind of growth and expansion of our personality which is essential to make our life flow on and on, despite anything on the way. Facilitating the flow and becoming enriched in the process is the sublime course of any discerning man.
Even to the most ill-healthed mother, is the child born a load? The mother may lack physical strength and ability, but the mind generates its emotional strength and sustenance.
Let the household present its hindering facets, but your mind must spin its emotional threads to fill the gaps and transcend the disturbances. It is not the absence of hindrances that you should look for but the presence of the counter factors. The first depends on sources outside, other than you, while the second has you alone as the source. Why not the source in you become creative and expansive?
Seen from outside, you are a body first. Next, you are the mind and then the intelligence. Further within, you are the SELF. Mind you, THE SELF. Look at the Subject reality scientifically.
The body is gross; subtler is the mind. Still more so is the intelligence. Then what should be the subtlety of the Self? A colour cannot be easily dissolved in earth; but in water it can be. It can also be washed off by water. The dissolution process works with greater effectiveness in the mind. In that the intelligence works as a great friend. But, for everything positive or negative, the Self is the ultimate dissolver. Like sleep, It dissolves and regenerates as well.
The process is subjective alone; it does not depend on anything other than you. When the obstacles and disturbances from the external sources pose before you, why not you tap your own being and try the dissolving process?
It is generally done by resorting to some counter sentiments or emotions. Desire or passion works first in household minds. That is quite natural. But equally, the same mind will have to develop a tendency for desire-dropping and dispassion as well. Householders either do not recognize or refuse to act in accordance. Naturally there is imbalance – sometimes very strong. They deserve it!
Life is a flow authored by nature. Why not leave it to itself? Do we not accept growth and decline of the body? Why not equally accept the need for passion and dispassion too? The mind has enough capacity to provide the needs of the hour.
– Swami Bhoomananda Tirtha [This is Poojya Swamiji’s correspondence published in the Jan-Feb 1993 issue of Vicharasetu]